I am an Only Daughter's Only Daughter's Only Daughter

We interupt this remodel....

to introduce the New Puppy!!

"Bubba" - we no longer have an "Only Dog".  I guess he'll have to be "Only Puppy".

Only Daughter is one happy little girl.

The two cats, the hamster, the fish and the other dog remain undecided.

Spoiled but not Rotten

Antique Mommy wrote a post today about her Only and how hard it can be not to let an Only become spoiled. It was sweet, touching story that showed how hard it can be and proved beyond a doubt that her Only is anything but rotten.

I have a perspective on this that may be a little different as I am an Only myself.  Onlies may appear spoiled to outsiders looking in.  Onlies get ALL the toys, ALL the time, ALL the attention and ALL the love.  But parents of Onlies know, who else is going to get it?  They are our Only Child.  Do we withhold our love or are attention or our time because we don't want them to have too much?  We all have the same amount of love, time, attention and things to give, we just have to figure out how to spread it around depending on how many we have to give it to.

My Only Mother and Only Daddy never had to worry about who was going to attend which kid's game or recital or who was going to get held first or who got new clothes on a tight budget and who got hand-me downs.  I played softball for 10 years and Only Mother never missed a single game.  The one time Only Daddy did was because his plane was delayed in Denver and he couldn't get a flight.  I certainly didn't get everything I wanted but I did get a lot.  I got more allowance than most of my friends but then I was the Only one to do the chores so I did more around the house. Only Mother instilled in me a sense of appreciation for what I had.

 From an early age I tried (not always successfully) to resist buying Only Daughter every little thing she asked for.  It's hard because my heart tells me it's not the "thing", it's the joy in her eyes and the smile on her face when she gets something she really wants.  But my head helps me remember that the joy and happiness won't mean as much if she comes to expect it all the time. 

It's gotten easier as she's gotten older.  I think when she was little a lot of the "things" where for me.  I was new at the whole being-loved-by-somebody-so-unconditionally thing and I had struggled so hard to have her and had given up hope that I would ever have a child.  Having someone all my own that I could delight so much by giving her a simple little toy was such a thrill!  Now I can talk it out with her, teach her that sometimes you don't get it just because you want it.  I try to teach her the value of a reward for hard work or the good feeling that comes from saving up for something special.

Sure Onlies have some advantages but we can still come out not-rotten if our Parents do it right.  It's my hope and my prayer that Only Daddy and I are doing it right.

Let the Grandparents do the spoiling, we have enough to do just getting them dressed and to school on time!

My Return to The Mall

    I rarely go to The Mall.  I used to go to The Mall, used to love going in fact.  Somewhere over the last, oh, 15 years or so I've grown to not love going to The Mall.  It started back when Only Husband and I were first married and too broke to go.  I found that there was no enjoyment for me cruising the aisles of Dillards or Casual Corner (my favorite stores back in the day) when I had no money to spend.   After so many years of not going  I found that I had lost the desire.

    Now days I'm blessed and have enough to where I can comfortably and safely go and shop Dillard's or Macy's or wherever and not worry too much about what I spend.  I've just never redeveloped the habit of going.  It's Spring and in our house that means that Only Husband spends Friday nights at the local race track.  He has some buddies that he pits for.  It's his time.  It leaves Friday nights as "Girl's Night Out" for Only Daughter and I.  Tonight she asked me to take her to The Mall.

    I can count on one hand in her six years on earth the times I have taken Only Daughter to the mall, literally count them on one hand.  I had no idea she even knew about the The Mall.  The last few times she was even old enough to remember were direct stops to Build-A-Bear, Starbucks and home so it kind of caught me off guard when she asked.  But I thought eh, what the heck, we'll go to The Mall.

    We went to Build-A-Bear first where we spent $50 in 10 minutes.  That may be a new record.  Then she said she wanted to go the "kids stores and buy clothes".  So we hit Gymboree and I was quickly reminded why I buy her clothes at the consignment sale and on Ebay.  But she was so cute and grown up when she selected an outfit and asked to go to the "changer room" by herself that I couldn't say no to the shirt and shorts set.  Another 40 bucks in a short period of time.

    The up the escalator AGAIN MOM, AGAIN! to the food court for pizza, $5 in quarters to ride "the rides" (when did the price of rides go from a quarter to  seventy-five cents??), a vanilla latte for Mom and we were done.  As we came out and were heading across the parking lot she grabbed my hand, looked up at me with the biggest smile on her face and said, "Mama, that was the best Girl's Night Out ever!"

    Watch out Mall, I'm back.

The Gospel According to Only Daughter

Only Daughter loves to preach the Gospel.  Usually she has a captive audience of two, me and Only Husband.

Last night during supper she began to preach.  She was on one side of the bar up on a stool as we sat mesmerized on the other side. She had a great sermon going and actually had most of the resurrection facts fairly straight.  I was so proud as thoughts of how 3 years of AWANA was bearing fruit.  She told of the empty tomb, of Mary and "them other Mary's" talking to the Angel and then seeing Jesus.  My heart was swelled to bursting I tell ya!

It was then that the story began to veer a little but bless her, her heart was in the right place.  She told us that Jesus was all powerful and He TOLD THOSE "HEBREWLITES" TO GO BACK TO EGYPT WHERE THEY BELONGED!

Only Husband kicked me hard and then had to hold on to me to keep from falling off the barstool laughing.

And all the people said ..... AMEN!

Part-time Siblings

    Only Daughter is an only but she is blessed with sibling-type experiences.  We have an 8 yr. old little boy and his 13 yr. old sister who practically live with us.  We met them when we moved to this house a year and a half ago.  They spend a great deal of their time with their Grandma who lives across the street and 3 houses down and if they are at Grandma's they are pretty much here.

    I don't have a lot of details on their home life but I've gathered that it isn't exactly ideal.  They are basically starved for attention, especially the little boy.  We give them attention and a safe place.  Their Mom works nights and we gather that Dad isn't always around and may drink too much when he is.  Grandma has her hands full; she's single, works full-time and has two kids of her own still in high school.

    So we've opened our home to them and when they're here we just treat them like they are our own.  We take them to church with us, they are here for family gatherings, they eat dinner with us 4-5 times a week.  We've grown to love them and would keep them if we could.

    Only Daughter and The Boy are crazy for each other.  If they go more than 2 days without each other they are like little lost puppies.  When Only Daughter stayed with her Grammy for five days over Spring Break The Boy wrote her a "letter" that said how much he missed her and to PLEASE call him the minute she got home.  Soooo sweet!

    Only Husband and I keep saying that God knew what He was doing when He gave us an Only.  He knew we would need the time, space and love available for our two part-time kids.  Praise Him for know because though we love having them we also love when we can send them home!